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| Little known(and bizzare)... http://bbs.noneedfortenchi.com/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=1456 |
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| Author: | WorldTyrant [ Thu Mar 06, 2003 10:04 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Little known(and bizzare)... |
Facts On History....<br><br>A. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to <br>live elsewhere.<br> <br>B. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the <br>Ten Commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.<br> <br>C. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.<br> <br>D. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.<br> <br>E. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career <br>suffered a dramatic decline.<br> <br>F. In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java.<br> <br>G. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: <br>"Tee hee, Brutus."<br> <br>H. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw.<br> <br>I. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops, they all shouted "hurrah."<br> <br>J. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter <br>Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.<br> <br>K. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous <br>only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple.<br> <br>L. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife <br>died and he wrote Paradise Regained.<br> <br>M. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of <br>Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.<br> <br>N. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln <br>freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving <br>picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.<br> <br>O. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach <br>died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.<br> <br>P. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. <br>Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.<br> <br>Q. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the <br>steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men.<br> <br>R. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits.<br> <br>S. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species.<br> <br>T. Madman Curie discovered the radio.<br> <br>U. Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers.<br><br>~~~<br>Please don't take offense by this.<br>If any of you DO take offense by this, go dunk your head in a nice big bucket of of ice cold water. It won't help, but it will be funny. <p><center><font style="font-size:9;">The world is at my command.-Me <image src="http://www.yadtel.net/~galen/Images/Hoppers.gif"><BR>I am one of the 14 members of the council of grinning idiots!<BR>Anatidaephobia: The fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you.<BR></font><font color=purple font style="font-size:9;"><a href="http://pub61.ezboard.com/bchronosdespairmessageboard">Come to the land of Roleplaying!</a></font></center></p><i></i> |
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| Author: | Galaxia0000 [ Thu Mar 06, 2003 10:17 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Little known(and bizzare)... |
<!--EZCODE EMOTICON START :rollin --><img src=http://www.ezboard.com/intl/aenglish/images/emoticons/roll.gif ALT=":rollin"><!--EZCODE EMOTICON END--> <br><br>My English teacher showed us these before as a lesson on how stupid you can if you don't check your paper before you turn it in. <br><br><!--EZCODE EMOTICON START :lol --><img src=http://www.ezboard.com/intl/aenglish/images/emoticons/laugh.gif ALT=":lol"><!--EZCODE EMOTICON END--> <p><!--EZCODE CENTER START--><div style="text-align:center"><br><!--EZCODE ITALIC START--><em>We're so hungry we could eat at Arbys."<br></em><!--EZCODE ITALIC END--><br></div><!--EZCODE CENTER END--><br><!--EZCODE LINK START--><a href="http://www.fireso<br>ul.50megs.com">Galaxia's Kagato Page</a><!--EZCODE LINK END--> <!--EZCODE LINK START--><a href="http://pub49.ezboard.com/banimecommunity71285">Anime Community</a><!--EZCODE LINK END--> <!--EZCODE LINK START--><a href="http://pub92.ezboard.com/bmidnightlagoonmessageboard">Midnight Lagoon</a><!--EZCODE LINK END--> <!--EZCODE LINK START--><a href="http://pub19.ezboard.com/ftenchimuyo79943frm138">Galaxia's Realm and the Land of Infinite Sadness</a><!--EZCODE LINK END--> <!--EZCODE LINK START--><a href="http://pub106.ezboard.com/bmadonna50968">The Chickens Are Behind You</a><!--EZCODE LINK END--></p><i></i> |
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| Author: | X Ryoko Muyo X [ Fri Mar 07, 2003 1:16 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Little known(and bizzare)... |
Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock ...<br><br>XD...<br><br>Somehow that just strikes me as ...hilarious. Me and my sick mind. XD <p><!--EZCODE CENTER START--><div style="text-align:center"><!--EZCODE IMAGE START--><img src="http://villageanime.com/Zoids/rpg/ryoko-reclining.jpg " style="border:0;height:120;width:400;"/><!--EZCODE IMAGE END--><!--EZCODE BR START--><br /><!--EZCODE BR END--><!--EZCODE BOLD START--><strong><!--EZCODE FONT START--><span style="color:navy;font-family:comic sans ms;font-size:x-small;">I am Ryoko!<!--EZCODE BR START--><br /><!--EZCODE BR END-->Tenchi Muyo Survivor 4</span><!--EZCODE FONT END--><!--EZCODE BR START--><br /><!--EZCODE BR END--><!--EZCODE FONT START--><span style="color:teal;font-family:comic sans ms;font-size:xx-small;">"I see a no smoking sign, but I don't see a no drinking sign anywhere."-Ryoko</span><!--EZCODE FONT END--><!--EZCODE BR START--><br /><!--EZCODE BR END--><!--EZCODE LINK START--><a href="http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=ryuu-ryoko" target="top">Ryoko's Empire, Ruled by Ryoko of course!</a><!--EZCODE LINK END--><!--EZCODE BR START--><br /><!--EZCODE BR END--></strong><!--EZCODE BOLD END--></div><!--EZCODE CENTER END--></p><i></i> |
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