This is a list I wrote a few years back. I figured some of you need a few chuckles and guffaws.

-How to tell that you play WAY to many RPGs-

1) You call your pets familiars.

2) Your call your hamster a ‘miniature giant space hamster’

3) You know the AC bonus of the clothes your ACTUALLY wearing.

4) You introduce your self you saying
‘Greetings fellow traveler I am [insert name here] level [insert number and class here]’

5) You carry about some sort of makeshift weapon.

6) When asked about this make shift weapon, you answer
‘This is my short sword/long sword/quarterstaff + 2’

7) When you are angry with someone, you tell him or her you are going to ‘smite them’.

When you enter a new town, you ask the nearest person where you can find a temple/tavern/Inn.

9) You have made your own lock picks.

10) You call energy drinks or sodas ‘potions’.

11) When buying something, you ask how many Gp it is.

12) When attacked by an animal, you tell you friend ‘Bah…it’s not a DIRE creature…we can TOTALLY take it out.’

13) To you, a box of band-aids is a healing kit.

14) You can quote NPCs.

15) One of your biggest pet peeves is arcane spell failure.

16) You freak out around gargoyle statues, CONVINCED they are going to jump out at you.

17) You call the Renaissance Festival home.

18) You are often irritated at Santa, because you KNOW his helpers are CLEARLY not elves.

19) When someone calls, you often answer ‘Yes…busy…killing zombies…’

20) Speaking of Zombies…whenever you pass a cemetery, you are on the look out for some ‘just’ in case.

21) You call your friends ‘your party’.

22) You’ve actually ripped someone’s hood down to make sure they weren’t a medusa.

23) You then cursed, because if it really HAD been a medusa, you didn’t have any stone to flesh scrolls with you.

24) Instead of a doctor, you ask for a cleric.

25) You ALWAYS check for traps.

26) You are positive you have a ‘stealth’ mode.

27) You call your book bag your ‘inventory’.

28) Your call your to do list your ‘journal’.

29) You go up to complete strangers and ask for their life story.

30) You attempt to save any ‘damsel in distress’.

31) You always talk to the oddly dressed people first. They ALWAYS have the best info.

32) At a job interview, you ask whom your supposed to kill and how much the bounty is, then discover your making burgers and not a bloody mess of someone.

33) You are pointing and laughing, because these are all SO totally you.

34) You are convinced you can hear a narrator voice wherever you go.

35) You’re totally down with medieval courtesy.

36) You’re currently attempting to build a teleporter in your basement.

37) You’re constantly panicked and literally look for a ‘load game’ button when you screw something up.

38) You hang around your dark basement with a cloak, and demand people call you ‘dungeon master’ as soon as they walk down the stairs.

39) You carry wooden stakes on your person at all times. (This also counts for holy water)

40) You’ve actually asked for silver bullets when buying a gun. (And to be honest, I don’t trust you with it.)

41) You’ve spent over three hours with some sort of instrument attempting to summon a variety of things simply to find the only thing you could call forth were you neighbors, complaining that it’s too darn loud for 1:00 in the morning.

42) You’ve made your own armor out of tinfoil, leather, and or duct tape.

43) When stopping for directions, you’ve asked what realm your in.

44) You collect ‘spell components’.

45) When in a heated debate or fight, you actually have made a ‘barbarian rage’ battle cry and or pose.

46) You always find yourself on some sort of quest.

47) You’ve bought or made a bow, then tried to make ‘fire arrows’.

48) You think the reason all your socks go missing is because some sort of imp lives in your attic and really loves messing with you.

49) You’ve challenged people to duels.

50) You’ve stolen your mother’s pots to use as a cauldron.

51) You’ve asked for dragon meat at a restaurant.

52) (Now this is a BIT extreme) You actually roll dice to decide how far on a tiled floor you will walk.

53) You prefer to use candles rather than light bulbs.


54) You have a bizarre obsession with ‘smiting evil’.

55) You call lizards ‘wingless wyrms’

56) You’ve been known to strike a hero pose.

57) You get freaked out at the mention of ‘twilight’.

58) You have been beaten up by a gang because you asked if they have ‘a secret fighting tournament’ at night.

59) PETA hates you because your favorite sport in ‘chicken kickin’.

60) You have actually composed yourself theme music.

61) You are constantly at the library searching for books. (The type that either A) Teleport you somewhere B) Summon evil demons C) contain magic spells or D) Boost you skill points)

62) Your pickup lines include “ Hey baby, what’s you mage class?”, “ Do you have a +20 charisma? Because I could be persuaded to join YOUR party.” And “Is that a great sword in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”

63) You are building an airship in your backyard, because cars are for n00bs.

64) You freak out at the sight of all beetles or rats, convinced that some larger, mutated one is hanging about just around the corner.

65) You don’t understand the current school grading scale. Where’s the AC bonus? What about the stats?! WHAT IS THIS STRANGE PAPER?!

66) You are convinced the world works in a series of turns. (you are often pwned in living fights)

67) You are paranoid the all bushes just MIGHT be deku shrubs.

68) You greatly fear angering chickens.

69) You have broken your mother’s flowerpots in search of money. (same also with mowing the lawn)

70) You randomly break in to people’s houses and go through their stuff…WHILE they are home.

71) Your convinced you are some sort of albino drow.

72) You’ve actually held a funeral for one of your dead party members.

73) You’ve broken into tombs in search of loot.

74) You own one map. You are convinced it is faulty because it is the SAME map no matter where you go.

75) You’ve asked for a Chocobo at the pet store.

76) You go to the park and collect feathers, screaming if anyone asks you what your doing, “MY PHOENIX DOWN!!!”
77) You have insane theories about how the government is corrupt.

78) You freak when people sleep in, convinced that they have to have a curse or spell upon them.

79) You have been known to break into people’s houses and rest there.

80) You believe ANYTHING an old man tells you.

81) At the same time…you often get information from drunks at the pub.

82) For some reason…the words ‘Listen!’ and ‘Hey!’ make you VERY angry.

83) You have named your Shadow “Dark (insert name here)”

84) You have written songs of your adventure.

85) When bullied and called some random class, you correct the bully. “Actually, I’m a ranger/bard/paladin.”

86) You have a fascination with antique jewelry…

87) You did not ask for a car at 16. You asked mom and dad for a caravan.

89) You’ve gone to a tattoo parlor asking for a ‘magic marking.’

90) You have rebuilt a bridge.

91) You were born in a small farming community, and have trained yourself in combat to prepare for an epic quest. (you were actually born in town, this is just the back story you claim.)

92) On a form that asks your race, you check ‘other’ and write ‘orc /halfling /half-elf/ dwarf/ ect.’

93) You’ve asked at the grocery store to sell something.

94) You think your little brother was the result of you trying to summon a demon.

95) You are convinced the neighbor is a werewolf. You have spread Belladonna across his yard.

96) You have told the police many times that there are lizard men in the city sewers.

97) You have written your own scrolls.

98) You have stolen someone’s pants.

99) You are convinced your dreams are either prophetic, about your forgotten past, or about your enemies plans.

100) Your life seems to consist of running other people errands.


I myself am guilty of: 7,13,14,15,26,27,29,35,46,49,56,62,86,and 100.

^_^

I'm pretty much guilty on most of these. Wow... Thought I was a FPS kinda gamer.

#8 = HEEHEE

Don't you just hate when that happens?

Don't know yet... hmmm

I'm currently writing a list of RPG pick up lines.

Unfortunately...I lack suaveness. I'm not super far. Maybe 15.

HAHA!! Post em!!

~*~RPG Pick up lines~*~

1) You must have a +20 charisma, because I could be tempted to join YOUR party
2) Hey Baby, what’s your mage class?
3) Is that a broadsword in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
4) I didn’t know there was a green house nearby. You’re so beautiful you MUST be a dryad. (Note: most effective in a treeless area, such as a city)
5)*does Link’s sexy dance*
6) Hey!! Give that back! I saw you, you filthy rouge! You just stole my heart!
7) You know, I’d pick you up on a side quest ANYDAY.
8 ) Quick! This is important! An old man whose identity is unknown to me has pointed you out! YOU MUST BE MY DESTINY!
9) Whoa, for a second there, I thought you were a gorgon! (love interest: YOU JERK!) Well madame/mister, what other logical explanation is there when you find yourself unable to move or breathe when you catch eyes with someone? It’s only natural that I thought I’d been tuned to stone!
10) Soo…are you a damsel? Because I was kind of hoping you’d be in distress.
11) You’ve got a nice bag of holding! (This is of course referring to someone’s cleavage)
12 I bet you look great in leather…armor.
13) Why my lord/lady! It seems that you have put a geas on my heart!
14) I wouldn’t mind carrying YOU through a fish on my back!
15) You know…I drove here myself. ON A DRAGON.

10 and 12 made me lawl pretty hard.

They're all good, and so true. I think I may have used a couple 0_o

can't...read... them all.... too lazy...

but the ones I've read are hillarious!

I have added yet another:

16) If I were a zombie, I'd eat your brain first.

There you go! Totally different realm of nerd jokes. I'd seriously marry a chick that got that one.

XD

What?! Doesn't anybody talk like that?!