While driving my 93 Nissan maxima with the broken moon roof stuck open, a rotten apple fell through it and onto my head.

"WTF!? Ew, what a horribly diseased apple, and someone was stupid enough to to bite!?" I put the diseased apple in my trash bag(Yea, I have a trash bag in my car) and chucked it across the river I was driving by and it hit the next poster.

"Hit with trash, of all things? Well, THIS oughta hurt the next person even more." I threw seven cinderblocks (yes, I carry them, not really) in the bag and then threw it at the next person.

by then i had made my way to (where ever bkev threw the cinder blocks)
*whistling*
"fwew fwoo fwee fwo fwoooo..........." SMACK!
...................
...................
*i pass out and the stick of jerky i was eating rolls outa my hand into a cannon just is its about to be fired*
BANG-------------it flys and hits the next poster!

Oh my gosh!! I've just been smacked with flying preserved meat!! Unfortunately, a starving hobo nearby saw me get smacked with it and has begun to run my way. I use my ninja skills to kick the hobo at the next poster!

The dark cloaked figure roamed the street, puzzled by the stillness around him. "What happened to the demons? The zombies? Hm..." the figure said. He quickley ducked as a hobo flew over his head. "Damn flying hobos. Well, the evil creatures must have gone into hiding. Well, someone might be needing this then to avoid them" The figure said, pulling out a pair of IR goggles, and tossed them high in the air...

Raising my hand, I caught the goggles. Putting them on, I looked around...and saw that my cloaked compatriot was far from the truth in his assumption.

The air heated, and I saw in front of me the lumbering form of a great demon. It lunged at me, knocking me to the ground. The goggles flew off my head as I landed, and as I looked for them I glanced around. There was no sign of the demon!

I caught hold of the goggles' strap, and threw them back on.

"What happened?" the cloaked figure asked, a hint of fear in his voice.

I flicked the goggles' power on and gasped. "On the ground!" I yelled. The cloaked one instantly fell to a prone position, and I unholstered my revolver and fired into the red mass that directly behind him. It fell dead, and when I took off the goggles I could see the shimmering demon fading back into the visible spectrum. The cloaked figure got up and dusted himself off while I reloaded the gun, throwing the empty cartriges at the next poster.

I heard a noise on the pavement behind me only to see some discarded cartridges. With this I flew into a panic, assuming assasins were after me. I ran into the nearest side street and quickly hurried up a fire escape. Unfortunatly, in my haste I ran into a clothes line, sending an eccentric old womans various frilly and...unique nightgowns atop the next poster. XD

"wahhhhhhh!"

wtf! im covered in clothes!......girls clothes!.....girls underwear!

i look up and a group of old ladys are staring at me angryly, they run over and begin to beat
me with their walking aids!

"pervert!" "you an evil man!" "sicko!"

i think fast and pull out 3 coupons to a pharmacy across the road.

"oh what a nice boy" "here let me help u up" "what great fashion sense!"

they hobble of across the road....but alas they didnt look before crossing
and a bus has cleaned them up! one of the old ladys heads goes flying off
and hits the next poster!

Finally parking my car in the parking lot of a pharmacy to pick up my moms blood pressure pills, I'm hit by fast moving object.

"Ow! WTF! Not again!" I then realize the object that struck was in fact on elderly women.....who died on impact with me.

"Oh crap, this isn't going to look good."

I pick up the corpse and put in a near by trash can and thow in the direction o fthe next poster.

ROFLMAO!!!

I am busy making my way down the fire escape...seeing as I have waited a decent amount of time and have not been attack when...BAM!!

I am hit by a trash can.

Typical. -_-'

As I glare at it while I lay on the sidewalk thinking "Ow." I notice another set of eyes looking at me.

ZOMG!! THE ASSASINS ARE TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING!! They're willing to kill little old ladies to get to me!!

As I wail in terror and bolt down the sidewalk...I topple into a small little bearded man smoking a cigar. He topples into a fireworks stand.

It's wares shoot at the next poster. ^_^

As a try too look normal and act like I just didn't throw a trash can with a dead grandma in, giant flashes of colors start going off all around me. Soon the all the flashing colors cause me o go inoa seizure, and in my flailing about, I knock away a leg of a nearby fruit stand causing all of the fruit in it to roll down the street and hit the next poster.

as i was walking down the the market strip noticed some commotion over at one of the fruit stands.
i ran over to have a look and was bombarded by a wave of fruit!
as i fell knocked a cutting board that was left half on on of the benches. the fruit board had huge juicy
half of a watermelon on it and as i hit one half of the cutting board i sent the melon flying off through
the window of next doors bakery, hitting the next poster!

After the run in with the bearded man...I decided it might be best to sit down for a while in a nice little bakery. (Surely...the little bearded man could not get revenge here!)

...Then it came.

A UFO!

No!!

It was flying watermelon.

Once more I am beaned in the head. T_T

In sorrow, I munch upon it...then relize it has far too many seeds for my taste!! I toss the rind and spit the seeds at the next poster.

As I'm walking by a bakery I'm suddenly hit by what felt like a beebee rifle.

"CRAP! I didn't mean to throw the old lady away!" I yell as I'm hit by what I now find out are watermelon seeds.

"OH so someone thinks they can screw with ME!? Well I'll show them!" I take out my hand grenade that I keep for emergencies and throw at the next poster.