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| Once Upon A Time... http://bbs.noneedfortenchi.com/viewtopic.php?f=34&t=2472 |
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| Author: | KagatoTEG [ Thu Aug 10, 2006 9:12 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Once Upon A Time... |
This doesn't really fit here. This is not a Tenchi Fic, or even related to any anime. The main reason I'm uploading it, is so that I can access it at home. But maybe someone here will find this interesting too. As is said below, this is a very rough first draft. **** A Few Points to note. This is more a comic script than a written piece. The [] describe the panel, and the Shortened names followed by the : tell you what each character is saying in the panel, with () indicating a few extra things. Monologue means that the line is not said out loud, but instead is contained in a text box, not a speech balloon. The Narrator also talks within Text boxes. If a Character says something twice in the same panel, the text appears in separate bubbles or boxes, each lower than the previous. In Particular, if the Narrator has two lines, it will be One box at the top of the panel, and one at the bottom. Also this is a very first attempt at the script. And I am, believe it or not, almost entirely making this up on the fly, and letting the story write itself. I get the feeling I am going to find I need to take stuff out, and possibly put stuff in a whole deal. Even in this first chapter, I was going to add another scene with Penny and Red, but realised I was going to go into too much detail, or at least, too much detail too early, though perhaps I should have, to keep it more like the simple fairy tale. But then again, maybe not. Once Upon A Time... [Black panel] Nar:Once Upon A Time... RRH:(monologue) Huh? [Blury view of light and shadows] RRH:(ml) I thought I heard something? Nar: There was a little girl who wore a beautiful red hood and cloak, who had lived in a forest with her mother. RRH:(ml)... Yes, I did hear something, wait, "had lived"? Nar: She had never gone anywhere without this riding hood on, so everyone had called her Little Red Riding Hood. [clearer image of tall buildings] RRH:(aloud) Again with the Hads, what am I now then, dead? Wait, where am I actually? Nar: She had often visited her Grandmother. One time this had led to a wonderful little adventure, that had ended with one of the Big Bad Wolf's many defeats. [view of RRH wondering through ruins of a building, a bed nearby. RRH: heh, I remember that. But that was only the other week, you're making it sound like it was a lifetime ago? Nar:And so she had lived happily ever after, until she fell under a curse, and had fallen into an endless sleep. [ close up frame of RRH face looking confused, screwing up nose, etc. Narration continues at the bottom of the frame.] Nar: And so she, and many others, had slept for many many years, before she was awakened again. [RRH shouting angerily at non-exsistent Narrator] RRH: Hey! I think you're a little confused, that was Sleeping Beauty! Nar: The World in which she now awoke was a vastly different one to the one she had known. [RRH Thinking] RRH: Well I suppose there is some truth to that, want to explain where exactly I a- Nar: It was a World where her mother, her grandmother, and the wood cutter were long dead. [RRH looking shocked] RRH: No.... Nar: One where the forest in which she had lived, had long ago given way to the industrial city around her. [RRH lookign iritated] RRH: Whoa, rewind, what was that about my Loved ones? What happened to My Mum, Grannie, and Jack? How long exactly was I asleep for? What is going on here? Nar: One where the Big Bad Wolf ruled, along side many other evil villains of imaginative tales... [RRH shouting surprised] RRH: Wha? Nar: It was also one in which she would not be very welcome. [Camera further away, more behind RRH, her addressing the sky] RRH: How can that be possible? The Woodcutter Killed him! He cut him open, to let my Gran out of her big fat belly! Nar: She is in the Land of Once Upon A Time, The Kingdom of Dreams,now a World of Corupted Fairy Tales,[Insert Name Here] . [RRH Just standing them, palms facing sky] [more elavated angle, looking down at RRH's face] RRH: Do you have any idea how corny that sounds? [previous frame beofre elavated angle again pretty much] [RRH gazing around into the distance. RRH: Umm hello? [still looking] RRH: Mister Disenbodied voice? [hopping down from ruins] RRH: Can't even take a bit of critisum.... [RRH Still hopping down the ruins, towards a confused child, a little younger than herself.] RRH: Umm hey there... [RRH approaching the child.(side view)] Child: Who were you talking to in there? RRH:... Um no one, look, I'm a bit confused right now, so could you tell me where I am? [the two still talking, child inquisitive, RRH nervious.] Child: What were doing in there? My Mummy tells me not to go in there... I shouldn't even be playing here. RRH: Umm well, I'm not sure, I just woke up in there, after you get round to answering my first question, maybe you could tell me what that place is too? [child still curious, RRH getting irrate] Child: Why are you wearing such weird clothes? RRH: Look, could you answer my questions please? I answered your's, its common curticy to answer mine! [Child and RRH looking at each other silently] [child bashfully talking, RRH smiling nerviously] Child: My Mum says its a prison where a Witch in Scarlet sleeps. RRH: Oh... [RRH looking back at where she just came from, child idly looking around] RRH: Oh.... [RRH giving a diplomatic smile, and making calming guestures with hands, child looking directly at her] RRH: Look, I know it's not looking too good, but umm, trust me? Child: Are you really a witch? I thought witches were always much older? [RRH half glaring at child, child playfully walking away (making plane arms or something). Both characters now moving into the camera (camera moved to behind where the child was)] RRH: No, I'm Not a witch! Someone has obviously gotten things mixed up along the way. So how about my first question? Child: The city is called Forin, after a giant forest that used to be here, centuries ago. [focus on RRH, following the child] RRH: Forin, yep, that was its name... [looking up, stopped] RRH: wait a second. [chasing after child] RRH: Centuries Ago?!?! [child turned to face RRH, and RRH catching up] Child: Yep, not even my Great Grandmother was alive when it was a forest, and she's Hundread and hundreads of years old! RRH: .. Assuming your Great Gran's impossible age is endearing hyperbole for a moment, can I ask who is in control of the city? Child: Count B.B. Wolf. [RRH shouting in shock, the child jumping] RRH: What?! [RRH turned around, the child still looking surprised] RRH: So the voice wasn't lying... [Child looking perplex at RRH, eyebrow raised sort of thing, RRH herself in deep thought ] RRH:I suppose that explains the Misconceptions concerning me. [Child slightly backing off, RRH looking kinda disgusted] RRH: So that arrogant pig made himself a Count? [RRH turning back to the child] RRH: Hey Kid... Child: Do you always talk to yourself. [RRH midsentence, child looking at her] [RRH looking embaressed, child grinning] RRH: Only when I'm really confused, now do you think you could tell me where I can find somewhere safe to rest, and maybe somewhere to work? I don't have any money unfortunately. Child: Sure, My mum runs a bakery, and we have a spare room, and she's always saying we could do with an extra pair of hands to help. [Child running off, half turned towards RRH still] Child:Come on, follow me. RRH: Thanks! [RRH Walking along side child, view looking at them from behind] RRH: By the way, it is the last thing my Father gave to me, before he died. Child: Hmmm? RRH: That's why I wear this Riding Hood. People call me Little Red Riding Hood, by the way. (in whisper) or used to anyway. Child: Oh! I'm Penny. RRH: And the voice said I wouldn't be welcome! Child: Voice? RRH:... Nevermind. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Scene is a throne room. The area around the throne is shrouded in darkness, but a figure can still be seen lounging on the throne, glass of wine in his gloved hand, but the face is not visable. Men are bowed down in front of the throne.] Nar: When this was a forest, there was no need for castles. Nar: And even when the forest began to give away to the city, there was still no requirement for the castles that were built. [Closer to the throne, the glint of teeth can just about be made out in the shadows.] CW: How Awesome am I, my Generals? Nar: But the House of The Big Bad Wolf demanded them. [camera shifts to focus on the generals, who are bowed low at the base of the steps to the throne, faces completely hidden by their own shadows.] Gen1: So Very awesome, My Lord... Gen2: There are none in all the city who can deny it... Gen3: Not sure, not had much of a chance to see you in action. [camera shifting to front, to show 1&2 shocked/scared glowing eyes glancing to the side to eye 3, who is unaware of their eyes] [camera shifts behind them, 2 kicks 3 without turning to face him, still bowed, spending him flying, while the Count in his throne looks bored, even though he is shrouded in darkness.] [close profile shot of General#3's face, only his eye, and the glint of the sweat running down his worried face, and the light shining on the back of his head, and the decoraction on his shoudlers (he head is still very tilted, maybe even horizontal). The shape of his face can still not clearly be seen.( Maybe he should be pressed against the floor, and his gloved hands are hiding part of his face? Yes that sounds about right)] Gen: Of course, your past victories speak for themselves, My Lord! Nar: And no one could question the demands of the Ruling House. [Behind the generals again, the Count still in darkness, but maybe a little details can be seen, like still the glint of teeth, but no eyes.] CW: Great.. Great. But tell me. [same view, but glowing eye dots of eyes can be seen on the count, maybe a bit more detail in the darkness.] CW: Why is it that I hear rumours of Rebellion? [Count beginning to get up, more detail visable, like glint on syliver dropping from jaws] CW:And why am I hearing rumours of Your failures to eliminate any such Rebellion. Nar: At least, not until recently. [view shifting to viewpoint of the count, Generals 1&2 cowering away slightly, 3 frozen in fear, his face still pressed against the stone floor. Their own wolfy features now visable.] Gen1: My Lord, we have no leads about them, and no idea where they will strike next, and they are in and out so fast by the time we reach the disturbance, they are already gone! [side view, Count, enraged, desending from throne, now right by Gen3(still pressed against floor), but waving his hand at the other two generals(still cowering)] CW: Incompetents! Why would Anyone even Want to Rebel agsint a Ruler as Masterful as me? [Gen3 kneels up, forgetting himself, while Gen1&2 sweat like crazy, and the Count, half turned, looked exasperated.] Gen3: Let's see, high taxes, stricts laws, harsh enforcement of said laws- Nar: As some remember tales of a time when things were not like this... [Gen 3, crying, is kicked forward by the Count, who is very much enraged now, Gen 1&2 are now hugging each other in fear] CW: Idiot! That's the price they pay to serve under my greatness! Who else could they even wish to serve? [Gen3 not quite getting the point, lying on his front. The other generals are looking really scared.] Gen3: The reports say they were being led by Prince Charming! Nar: A Time when Evil did not rule. [The Count is half turned to Gen 3, no longer enraged, but nervious looking.] CW: Wha-What did you say? [All characters looked shocked/scared, and are semi-jumping as a Soldier bursts in.( All turned round to look, appart from Gen3 who is trying to scurry back onto his feet, unsuccessfully)] Sold: Sire! We have reports of a Scarlet Witch in an area of the city. [The Count jumping to his feet to address the Soldier, the generals still looking scared out of their wits. The Soldier is closing the doors behind him.] CW: A Witch, I thought we had treaties with all of them? Which one is it? <aside> There must be millsions of witches like that </aside> What is she doing? Attacking? Or is she just marching here? <aside> Gah, how do I look? Sold: Well actually, we don't think it is one of The Witches, that is, it is a child dressed in a red cloak, and so far we don't think she is doing anything? [All show perplex expressions, the soldier now looking rather worried.] CW: A child? ... Who is just dressed in red?... Sold:... Yes sir. CW: who hasn't done anything to give the impression of being a witch? Sold: Yes sir. CW: so Tell me... [The Count now has the soldier cornered, and looked very irritated. The Soldier looked very very scared. Soldier's text gets gradually smaller.] CW: Just why do you think I would care even a little bit about the fashion sense of little girls? Sold: Well, umm, see it's like, that is, she umm matches a description from an old legend- CW: Uh Huh... Still not caring. Sold: And also umm well really thats all I have er... I'm in trouble, arn't I? CW: If I was in a good mood, I might just demote you or something. However, there are a lot of nasty rumours giving me a headache... Sold: >gulp< [Doors to the throne room, maids passing by, and Guards at attention, well one may be winking at a maid.] [All looking very shocked and surprised, maids dropping stuff, and the guards jumping fully into the air in shock, dorpping spears, etc] Sold:(not visable) >Screaming Sound Effect< ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Back with Red and Penny. Penny is pushing open the door, and stepping in, while RRH follows. (both character's eyes are looking around slightly, as though looking for source of the voice.] NAr: Meanwhile Little Red Riding Hood, one who clearly remembers that time, has arrived at a place she will be able to call home. RRH: Heh, Penny, do you always play so far away from home? <aside> That voice's started again... [RRH stepping through the door, Penny running into the camera.] Nar: At least, for now. Pen: Not usually, but I wanted to try and look inside that building you came out of. It's always drawn me towards it. [RRH Stopped on doormat, looked perplex, thinking about the narrator's last words] [RRH looking up at non-exsistant narrator] RRH: What's that supposed to mean? [RRH hands raised to the ceiling, awaiting answer.] [frame now behind red, Penny looking round a doorframe] Pen: Umm Little Red Riding Hood? RRH: Huh? Oh sorry. [More full frame showing bakery's backroom, mother at a table kneeing dough, Penny rushing to her] Pen: Mummy, I'm home! PM: About time young miss! Where have you been all this time, leaving me to do this all day by myself? Pen: Sorry Mummy, I lost track of time. PM: you had better not have been playing by those ruins again, young lady... [Penny pulling herself up level with her mothers work service, a large smile on her face. Mother look surprised.] Pen: Don't worry Mum, I didn't get into any trouble, and I made a new friend, look! PM: A new friend? [more distant shot, mother turning to see RRH, RRH nerviously cowering at the doorway, looking at the ground, etc] PM: Oh! [closer picture of the nervious RRH at doorway] RRH: Ummmm Pe-Penny told me you would have somewhere for me to stay... I-I don't have anywhere to go now... I-I-I'm new here, and I do-don't know anyone in the area, so-so Please take me in if you can. Bu- [Looking up, seeming determined to make an energetic impression] RRH: But I-I Don't Mean for Free, I'll work Hard, in your Bake- [Camera zoomed out, to show Penny's mother kneeling by her, a walm expression on her face. RRH looking a little surprised.] RRH: Ery... PM: Well how can I say no to your kind offer? Tell me, what is your name? [side view, RRH nervious, avoidng eye contact, Penny's mother still giving a warm smile] RRH: Little Red Riding Hood... PM: HHhm, that's a strange name. It's not the one your mother gave you, is it? RRH:... No.... PM: What was that name then? {RRH looking very red.] RRH: Daphne.... [RRH looking annoyed, almost shouting at Penny's mother, who is giggling slightly at RRH's reaction to her name being given] RRH: But I never liked that name! And I haven't answered to it in years! For almost as long as I can remember, I've been Little Red Riding Hood. PM: Hhhmm, I see, well what can we call you then... wait... [Penny's mother pulls back her hood to reveal RRH's red hair. RRH looking a little surprised.] PM: Maybe we can shorten it to just Red? [RRH Smiling excitedly, and PM half turning to address Penny, also rubbing/patting RRH's shoulder to demonstrate the dustiness] RRH: Yeah! PM: Penny Dear, can you show Red here to the spare room and help prepare it for her too. Also I think you need to let her borrow some of your clothes until we can go out to get her some more of her own, and I think she should go get changed now, as these clothes are a bit dusty. I just need to put this batch in the oven, then I'll come and and see if you need any help. Pen:(Off frame) Yes Mum! [Penny grabbing Red's hand, pulling her through doorway, as she rushes through] Penny: Come on! [Penny's Mother watching them go, a mildly worried expression on her face.] PM: Strange... I don't remember making another wish... Hhhhmm, maybe Penny did... --------------------------------------- [Siloette. A lone figure sitting on a ledge in a ruin, legs kicking out slightly, etc, sunset in BG] Nar: A Good Story is much like any Well Built Clockwork Mechanism. It is Crafted by a gifted individual, but once they have built the structure, the wheels can begin to turn and move by themselves. [Closer view of scene, can begin to make out details of the figure sitting on the ledge, staring out into nothing] Nar:In the same way, once a story is started, the wheels begin to turn, and the Story becomes alive, writing itself, with each of the characters not only living out their parts, but adding to them, as they too become alive. [Closer again, can now make out the details clearly. It is a prince like figure, wearing loose fitting royal wear, like tights, a cape, etc, sheathed sword by his side. He has a feminine face, and a small figure, but still has a royal and heroic air around him, as he gazes out] Nar: But often, the gears will become worn down, and grind to a halt, or slow down to a painful speed, and the story will not progress, sometimes dying completely. Nar: But sometimes, something happens, and the gears begin to move freely again, and as if by magic, the Story hurtles at full speed again. [The Prince is turning round to face a Soldier that has appeared in the ruins behind him.] Nar: [Insert Name Here] had slowed to almost a stop, and things happenned, but the wrong things. It was not the way the story was meant to be, and so it was not a progression of it. Sold: Prince Charming, Sir, the Convoy is at the Ambush point, we await your orders! Nar: But Now... as if by Magic, the cogs are picking up speed. [The Prince is getting up to follow the Soldier] Nar: Once Upon A Time... PC: I'll come at once to lead the men, show the way! Nar: ... There was a Story that had slowed to a stop... Nar: ...And had thus become stagnant and corrupted... Sold: Yes Sir! Nar: ...But now fresh air is breathed into it... Nar:... And The Story is bursting back to life. [End Chapter1-Book1] |
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| Author: | KagatoTEG [ Tue Jun 17, 2008 2:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Once Upon A Time... |
I had forgotten entirtely about this.... Hhhmmmm I might need to look into continuing this, I had forgotten how much I liked it. |
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