Yeah, sadly. When she doesn't talk to me all day (texting usually) I feel like the most insignificant piece of crap.
But then we'll talk all night long, or actually ask me to come over, and all those negative feelings are completely replaced with the best.

Unfortunately though, I feel some bad weather on the horizon.

to bkev and the champ:

Being a solo flyer is not so bad. I actually found that my years of not dating landed me with one of the greatest fellas a girl could hope for. It's better to wait for a right person to come along that tango with a bunch of wrong ones just to have a dance partner. I wish you the best of luck when she finally comes your way. ^_^

To crumpets:
Have you ever talked to her about her being poised to fly? People sometimes what to leave for all sorts of reasons. I really do wish you the best of luck with this. And the eating thing. Hmmm...do you drink a decent amound even though your not eating much? During my mass anxiety panic, I noticed that there were some things that were easier to eat than others. If you don't might drinking things...become friends with your blender maybe? Make some shakes and stuff...like when people get their wisdoms yanked out.

But...then again...I guess it all depends on why your not eating much. Either you have no urge to eat or, like me...you'd feel sick to your stomache and didn't want to eat much.

On a positive note, at least your not lying of a couch for hours thinking your dying. XD THat sucks.

...I dunno if all of that will help you...but I guess it's something to try if you feel like it.

Actually, I pretty much lay on my bed before or after work staring out the sliding glass doors. Usually for about 6 to 7 hours

And eating is... I don't know why, just don't want to. Everyone sees me and says "You're looking skinnier!"

When my close friends see me "You're skinnier..."

And I drink, almost half a bottle of Captain Morgan a night, with coke. I'm drinking water and gatorade all the time though.

Haven't worked out in two weeks. Just lay around, post on here, maybe watch a movie.

Earlier this week she stayed the night, the next morning we were basically skin grafted to each other. I could see she loves me even though she won't say it.

Now she's distant again, only days later. Last night said she's not willing or wanting to be in a relationship.

We have yet to actually talk about it other than that statement, so... I think this thread may nearly be officially rendered "dead" soon.

Lighter news, a new coworker won't stop asking me questions and she eventually asked if I'd help her with college. Methinks she's flirting, but I feel even worse when she has to ask if everything's alright. Just met her and it's apparent that I'm ....Not well.

Maybe you seemed worried... ?

Vacant or angry are the most common I hear.

You don't come off as TOO angry, but I can definitely see how you would be in real life given your situation. If things don't work out, it sounds like your new co-worker is a nice gal.

If you don't want to...plan your meals.

Like some people with the dentist. They don't want to go, but they have to because it's an appointment.

Like...you'll eat breakfast at 9, lunch at 12:30, and dinner at 6:30.

Maybe try it with one meal at first?

As for the office girl...she sounds nice. You current relationship is a whole lot bumpier. I'm not sure what to tell you

If you don't want to...plan your meals.

Like some people with the dentist. They don't want to go, but they have to because it's an appointment.

Like...you'll eat breakfast at 9, lunch at 12:30, and dinner at 6:30.

Maybe try it with one meal at first?

As for the office girl...she sounds nice. You current relationship is a whole lot bumpier. I'm not sure what to tell you. It sounds like you both want different things. Maybe it'll be healthier to move on? I'm not sure.

I'm not very attracted to her, should be though.

She's not ugly or anything, I just miss HER already...

And I choose not to eat, I have a strict discipline and incredible patience, which basically kept my relationship intact so long.

And bkev, I usually look angry, just the way my face is, people that know me know different, otherwise... Not smiling= angry to most people.

Drinking now, for like 3 hours. Feeling good. The only time I feel normal anymore. :\

WATCHING TENCHI!!

Kind of, I watched this for months in loneliness before I met her, now I'm watching it again. The only real comfort I get anymore...

I try not to watch things or listen to music during tribulations because it attaches the bad emotion with the memory of it.

Still can't listen to a couple favorite bands because of it...

I do with a lot of things, but certain things I'd rather drink away and hope it doesn't come back...

So I tend to attach good feelings with favorite music and movies, and when things get rough, I stare at a wall.

Single now. My patience was proven... Meh, think of the word when I'm sober. Way too drunk to concentrate.

This thread has officially run it's course.

Man, can't think. Hate life. You guys rock though.