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| not right! http://bbs.noneedfortenchi.com/viewtopic.php?f=41&t=4403 |
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| Author: | mjhennessey [ Mon Jul 27, 2009 4:45 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: not right! |
I'm not sure that anyone can actually remove feelings by force of will or anything like that. It would be like trying to erase our own memories by forcing ourselves to forget them. So the answer is not to remove feelings but to reconcile them with reality. If something has happened to me causing me to feel angry, there is always a reason for it. My feelings did not appear from a vacuum. Circumstances within myself and in the world around me disagree with each other which puts me in a state of distress. And unless some understanding is made between myself and the world, I will remain there in that state of distress. It may not be the same for everyone, but whenever I experience a personal failure, I will normally go into failure analysis mode. For me the most important thing is to figure out why I failed because this answer does exist and if I can understand it, it will help me avoid failure in the future. People do not succeed or fail based on magic or luck, there is always a reason and a truth hidden behind every experience. Finding this truth is the key to reconciling the disparity between what I feel and what is ... although sometimes this is very difficult to do. It's difficult, but necessary. Also, I hope this is helpful for Kittie because I kinda feel like I'm hijacking her thread. I'm not a Buddah or anything like that Comix. They say that people learn from their mistakes, I'm just someone that's made a lot of mistakes. v_v |
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| Author: | <3kittie<3 [ Mon Jul 27, 2009 11:40 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: not right! |
thanks for your wisdom everyone but that doesn't completely keep me from being down..... |
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| Author: | crumpets the wise [ Tue Jul 28, 2009 4:25 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: not right! |
And nothing will. It's up to you to feel better. As MJ said, if you can't fix it, then 'reconcile' and move one. Because you live with her doesn't mean that it will get easy or an opportunity will present itself. But something you can control is how you react to it. I'm the worst to give advice on that, but Hennessy sounds like he/she has quite the understanding of it. |
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| Author: | mjhennessey [ Fri Jul 31, 2009 8:03 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: not right! |
I'm so sorry Kittie that there is so little that I can do to help other than a few words of advice or encouragement. v_v It seems like you'll need friends like Comix to lean on now if things are becoming too hard to handle all by yourself. Just having someone there for comfort, to support you if you need to cry your feelings out, can make a world of difference even if the situation with your mom doesn't change. *hugs* |
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